I was never offered a logical heart
My mother never asked where I'd like to grow up
my childhood friends were just neighbors with nothing to do
no one warned me I could fall in love with you
I didn't choose to be indecisive
no hobby of mine ever became a passion
I didn't request a span of heartache
Neither of us knew you would end it

I want to feel indifferent to this situation
I want to not have to pretend that none of this matters to me in the slightest.
I want to see you on the street and not wonder where you're going or where you are coming from.
I rode ten miles last night with nowhere to go
tried to clear my head but what do you know?
It was clouded with thoughts of how on earth I managed to fuck up yet again.
You used the old, "it's not you, it's me"
at least I could sense some honesty
but that doesn't fill my empty bed
and it doesn't make things right inside my head
I've got my friends
I've tied up loose ends
I'm making a name for myself
but nothing's the same since I've taken your picture off the shelf

I'm anxious for the day I can't remember nightmares
Once again seconds felt like hours of torture
as I watched my world being destroyed
I woke up feeling distraught and confused
why I was not in pieces
why everyone was still alive
This has been going on for too long
too many years
a reoccurance which shakes my daytime mentality
now I live each day expecting the worst
When will it end? Will it ever end?
My world is twisted almost every time I close my eyes.

From best friends to dead ends
where did you put your old self?
are you hiding out or is there no chance in hell things will ever be the same again?
I can never remember the in-between
It's like time lapsed and turned love to unease
My favorite memories are the ones you don't remember
Should I just try to forget them, too?
because there's nothing left of you to hold onto
when we try to talk there's nothing left to talk about
except how I remember the good times
and how you couldn't care less about me anymore

the negatives are heavy
but I’m trying to detach
I put my trust in seamless skin
brush my doubts off in the wind
sleep through daylight
the nights are ours
always when we dream
we are together
trust in me
wait patiently
restrain your desires
I’ll make this better
soon enough I’ll love you awake

I thought this was supposed to be home
but I don't feel too welcome here
If home is where my heart is,
then home is out of reach.
I'll never quite be comfortable
without you next to me.
I just can't concentrate
I almost contemplate making another sudden move to somewhere better.
somewhere nearer to you.
I'm almost happy
I'm closer than I can ever remember to feeling fine
I'm getting by, and I'm almost healthy
I'm well fed
stability has settled in my head
but I still can't completely focus
there's something missing
maybe it's you
I just can't concentrate
I contemplate forgetting all of this
I'd be losing myself all over again
Is there a better place?
Maybe you'll be there waiting with a welcoming grin on your face
Distance will forever be a factor.
I'm both eager and skeptical.
This situation crept up on me.
I have no complaints other than the miles between us.

Mates of State-The Shins/Sparklehorse split 7"
Mates of State-Fraud In the 80s 7"
Mates of State-Like U Crazy/Punchlines 7"
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" baby blue/660
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" peach/660
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" clear orange
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" white/660
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" purple
Mates of State/Dear Nora split 7" yellow/660
Mates of State- My Solo Project black
Mates of State- Our Constant Concern clear/646
Mates of State- Our Constant Concern black
Mates of State- Team Boo gold
Mates of State- Team Boo white/700
Mates of State- Team Boo clear
Mates of State- Re-arranged: Remixes Volume 1
Mates of State- It's the Law clear/2000
Mates of State/Fighter D split 7"
Mates of State/Fighter D split 7" color variant sleeve
Mates of State- Uber Legitimate 7"
Trash Talk-Plagues
Early Birds- Demo 2008 purple #23/50
Pulling Teeth/Frightener split 7" brown/black
Pulling Teeth/Frightener Split 7" white
Pulling Teeth/Frightener Split 7" clear
Pulling Teeth- Vicious Skin 10" Picture Disc
Pulling Teeth- Vicious Skin 10" green/black
Pulling Teeth- Vicious Skin 10" clear
Pulling Teeth-Vicious Skin 10" gray/100
Pulling Teeth-Vicious Skin 10" yellow
Pulling Teeth- Martyr Immortal red/blue splatter/350
Pulling Teeth- Martyr Immortal clear blue wax/200
Pulling Teeth-Martyr Immortal Gold/666
Pulling Teeth-Witches Sabbath I 7" black/300
Pulling Teeth- Witches Sabbath II 7"/300
Pulling Teeth- Witches Sabbath III
Pulling Teeth- Witches Sabbath IV
Pulling Teeth- Witches Sabbath V
Pulling Teeth-Paranoid Delusions blue
Pulling Teeth-Paranoid Delusions /333
Pulling Teeth-Paranoid Delusions /333
The Hope Conspiracy 7" black
Death is Not Glamorous- Undercurrents 7" brown
Death is Not Glamorous/Another Year split 7" black/1000
Title Fight- Kingston 7" clear red
Title Fight- Kingston 7" clear blue #21/50
Coalesce- Salt and Passage 7" clear/white blue /369
Ed Gein- It's a Shame...+ 3 song demo pink/549
Integrity- Humanity Is the Devil black #1407/1419
INTEGRITY 'Walpurgisnacht' 7" Red
INTEGRITY 'Walpurgisnacht' 7" Grey
Blacklisted-Heavier Than Heaven clear blue w/ black haze/1500
American Nightmare-4 song demo (Malfunction) clear
Lifetime 2 songs black
Shel Silverstein-Freakin At the Freaker's Ball black
Modern Life Is War- Midnight In America clear blue
Modern Life Is War- s/t clear blue
Modern Life Is War- s/t white
Supreme Commander- 120 Years In the Business grey marble
Braindead-No Consequences
This Is Hell/Cancer Bats split 7" Carolina blue/100
This Is Hell/Cancer Bats split 7" green/white haze/400
Phoenix Bodies/Raein split 7" blue
Minus the Bear/City on Film split 7"
Reign Supreme-American Violence 7" This Is Hardcore Press #16/30
Shook Ones/Easel split 7" yellow/250
Shelter- Live Reality 7"
Rise And Fall-Clawing pink vellum cover tour /30
Trapped Under Ice/Dirty Money split 7"
Comadre - Burn Your Bones - DIY or DIE - Black 3rd press w/ cd/dvd
Paramedic/Spraynard
Contend-In Contempt 7"
Vaccine-Demo 7"
Vaccine-Human Hatred 7"
Furnace/Relics split 7"
Relics - We Owe Ourselves This
Deathright- The Collapse
Grease Soundtrack
Gold Kids-The Sound Of Breaking Up
Bridge and Tunnel-Indoor Voices
Xerxes-Twins 7"
Tigers Jaw/Balance and Composure split 12"